Getting with the profile.

It occurred to me that the entire idea behind this blog was about "my kaleidoscopic incarnation", of which I've not shared a whole hell a lot about myself. So, in keeping with the topic at hand, I shall share with you a series of stories about my life.
As I lay in bed las' night pondering what to divulge about myself, I though, "hey, how 'bout I share some tales 'bout some of the assholes I've dated past. They are indeed funny and sad, witty and sarcastic, caustic and truthful, and somewhat entertaining, so here we go with bf #1....

He was the most selfish man I'd ever met. But at least he was honest about that fact. I fact, it was the first thing that he'd said to me when we started going out. How I continued the relationship on from there, I still cannot fathom. But I thought to myself, "hey, at least he's honest, that's one thing. Honesty is the best policy." We were inseparable. I fell for him big time. I met his family, and he met mine. We complimented each other. Unfortunately, it was not to last. It ended sadly and bitterly. I cried for weeks. But then I picked myself (well sort of) off the ground and moved on. I was on my own again, sleeping my way through town, though the actual act of "sleeping" never entered the equation.
Random question, I was playing a game with a few friends called, "How many people have you slept with?" The rules stated that the number couldn't involved numerous times with the same partner, but the number of separate people. The individual answers around the table ranged from 3 to 5. Then the question was directed at me. Now during the series of answers being given, I felt increasingly bad, because the numbers given were somewhat less than mine were. So, the question came towards me, and it was time to spill the beans. I could feel my face redden as I said, "Well, ummm, I kinda lost count after 12." There was a round of shocked faces, followed by applause and laughter. "My aren't you a naughty boy!" I recall hearing. Yes indeedie, I was a slut.
Then I met #2. He was older....MUCH older. But he was cute and at first we had hit it off. He lived quite aways outta town, so he'd come and stay for the weekend when he'd be able to get away. On our first weekend together, all went swimmingly. We had dinner, saw a movie and fooled around a little...well...ok fine, A LOT! Anyhoo, I awoke before he did, put my glasses on, and as I glanced towards him with a warm, happy feeling inside, I spied something on the night stand on his side of the bed. I was beyond horrified!!! It was a clear glass, half filled with liquid with a set of dentures floating in it. I was mortified. The rest of the weekend went okay, but underneath it all, was the lurking feeling of, "ewww, how gross!" The next day at work, a co-worker asked my how my weekend went I said it went fine, 'cept for one thing. I saw his false teeth peering at me from the bedside table. Well, Kat thought it was hilarious, and said to me, "Oh don't be such a pussy! Waddya think I see every morning beside my bed? Dave's falsies. Don't fret hun, u'll get used to it." I soon found other disturbing characteristics 'bout my current flame. He was 45-ish who wore clothes meant for a teenager, had strange hair cuts in weird colours and a pierced ear. He was an aging hipster desperately trying to recapture his long lost youth. It was a sad sight indeed. Needless to say, I wasn't too heartbroken when that one crashed and burned. Fun stuff, eh?
I shall leave the next installments for another time, as my day moveth forward to yet another task, so stay tuned for more stories to come. Have a good night, and a pleasant tomorrow.